Everyone loves Friday. So lets welcome this weekend with some cool funny one liners.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
- Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
- Arguing with my wife is like getting arrested. Anything you can can and will be used against you.
- A bunch of my friends are coming over tonight to play on their phones.
- I see these moms who can do everything and I think.. I should have them do some stuff for me.
- Intelligence is like underwear. It's important that you have it but there's no need to show it off.
- Porn movies are actually very positive movies, no bombing, no murders, all love and with *Happy Endings*
- The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it.
- The word "fuck" goes with anything.