Here are some funny quotes on Women.
- Women like silent men. They think they're listening. ~Marcel Achard, Quote, 4 November 1956
- Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. ~Author Unknown
- Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman's weapon is her tongue. ~Hermione Gingoldtcalf
- Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one. ~W.C. Fields
- The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself. ~Elizabeth Metcalf
- A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. ~Chauncey Mitchell Depew
- Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ~Nicole Hollander
- Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ~Author Unknown
- A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. ~Arnold Haultain
- Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly. ~Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton)
- A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women. ~Edgar Wallace
- It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
- I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four. ~Fred Allen
- All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
- A woman wears her tears like jewelry. ~Author Unknown
- If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? Nobody. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
- No woman wants to see herself too clearly. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
- Physically, a man is a man for a much longer time than a woman is a woman. ~Honoré de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage
- The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart. ~Author Unknown
- Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
- Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. ~Alfred Lord Tennyson
- Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves. ~Elissa Melamed
- There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature. ~Stephen Stills
- It is because of men that women dislike one another. ~Jean de La Bruyère, Characters, 1688
- If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt. ~Thomas Carlyle
- A woman can look both moral and exciting... if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle. ~Edna Ferber
- Women have very little idea of how much men hate them. ~Germaine Greer
- Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. ~William Shakespeare, As You Like It
- Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember. ~Author Unknown
